How should I choose a partner?

The concept of relationships has changed over the years, there are many different types of relationships today that years ago would probably have not even be considered. We can see examples of them in social media, tv series, and movies. Romantic movies were very trendy years ago. Classic romantic movies like The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, Dear John, etc., were pretty common back in the 2010s, might I add most of them were based on novels by Nicholas Sparks. The fact is that most of us young girls specially were inspired by these movies and created an idea or expectations of what relationships look like. But in real life is pretty different. Not all of us will start a relationship the way movies do. We won´t casually bump into the town´s lonely boy who is magically a perfect fit for us. In real life we don´t get to meet people that way.

I honestly believe movies and series like this have sort of ruined the way we make our relationships. We create this expectation of the perfect relationship with a boy that sometimes we forget to see the kind of person they are. Do they have the same values that we do? Do we think alike? Do they treat their family right? All of these are important factors when starting a relationship with a boy because they will determine the kind of bond you have with them. These forms of entertainment also make you feel like you need to be in a relationship, and you get way more focused on having a partner and you end up overlooking the kind of people they are. In class we discussed the best way to find an ideal partner.

First, it´s important to have shared experiences. This will allow you to get to know the person more and how they behave in different situations. For instance, when you go hiking with a boy what do you learn? You will be able to see if they are perseverant, how they face difficulties, if they are good at teamwork, etc. You can learn a lot about a person when you spend time with them. I remember this one time I boy told me that one thing he liked about me was how caring I was with others, I asked him how in the world would he know that if we had only met a month ago. He replied and said that when he had injured his arm, he noticed how I took care of him and was very attentive of his arm and kept helping him with things. Then he said he also liked how good I was with kids because he saw me playing with the children in our ward because I was their Sunday school teacher. All these are examples of shared experiences that can help people know more about you, about the kind of person you are.

Another thing we discussed about in class is talking. Communication is also essential in a relationship. It´s essential because it will also be very useful once you are in a relationship with someone. Talking can also help you get to know more someone. It is by talking that we can also share are memories or our past experiences. We can also share our ideas and values by talking to another person and expressing our emotions and feelings will help each person understand the other better. This will very useful because we can see how they feel about communication. Do they like to let you know what they are feeling? Are they closed off and don´t like sharing their thoughts?

Life has taught me, dare I say the hard way, the importance of getting to know someone. Don´t rush into things, don´t try to find the perfect person either because it might be impossible to find. However, make sure to really know the person you are going to start a relationship with, because that will be the foundation for your future family, and as I have discussed in previous posts families are essential. Not only for our personal growth but for our future children as well.