Families and gender

 We are currently in a world where women have a place at the table, and they are able to make their own choices. Women are more free today than they were decades ago. They were always expected to stay at home, take care of the kids, serve their husbands, etc. During Spain´s fascism, dictator Franco created a guide for women called “the guide for the perfect wife.” This book suggested a number of rules that women should follow, such as having dinner ready, cleaning the house, not complaining, etc. Luckily, women today have been able to obtain more freedom to chose what they want to do. Some of these expectations are still prevalent today, but it is not the normal thing to do anymore. Likewise, men have always been expected to be the ones to provide for their families. They were expected to work and put food on the table. That was the status quo, and people lived according to it. But where did these expectations came from?

The origin of these could be related to the roles and traits of each gender. Common knowledge indicates how women tend to be more nurturing, emotional, caring, and expressive. These traits help them to be more suited to be mothers and take care of children or people. On the other hand, men are much more analytical, and they have good spatial orientation. These traits can help them in situations of danger, to support their families, and protect them. If we think about it in terms of evolution, both roles combined together helped families and communities survive in the wild. Today there are many efforts to claim that men and women are equal and that there is no difference between both. However, science shows that there are differences. In fact, even if we think about the whole race of humanity, there are not two people who are exactly alike. Obviously, this statement doesn´t take away the fact that men and women should be treated equally because, yes, socially, there are disparities, and one gender tends to have more advantages than the other. But when talking about our traits, we are different. Our brains are wired differently, too. This is not a bad thing. Who says that being different is bad? These differences help us complement each other. It creates a balance and allows families to survive, and creates ideal conditions for children to grow up in. For instance, think about what I have mentioned in the last posts. Members of the family have different roles. I used to be the one who kept peace in my family. I was the caregiver, but suddenly, this role was no longer part of my family when I left. This created a disruption, and someone had to take my place. Can you see how families need to maintain a balance? Family members complement each other, and so do men and women.

Although it is essential to understand there are differences between men and women, it is equally important to realize that not everyone relates to their expected traits. That is why it is to keep in mind this because there are men who consider themselves more nurturing than their spouses. I keep thinking of my friends. As I said in one of my initial posts, they have zero intentions of having children and creating a family. One of my best friends doesn´t like children at all. I have seen her around them and trying to take care of them, and it is evident that she is not very good. She doesn´t have that “motherly” instinct. Some people don´t follow those expectations, and that is okay. It´s all about balance and creating a good environment for children.